I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
