It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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