it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
