Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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