The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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