sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I can't turn off my feet"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
