why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
