Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
