I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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