Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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