don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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