I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
