he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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