the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
