I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I think a kid would responsible me up
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
