Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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