theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
