Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
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Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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