Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
where are you?
Hypothermia
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
