I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Mom said you looked used
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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