I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
