508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
