Do you still have your period?
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
