I wish I could teleport
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
