i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
