this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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