I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
