i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize