Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
