I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
