Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Alive.
So much puke
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
My breath smells like gin and sadness
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
