physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
