I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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