My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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