no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
