Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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