she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
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He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
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also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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