1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
