its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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