am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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