Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
