dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize