so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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