i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
