with your own penis?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
