I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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