he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Randomize
