I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
