operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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