Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
