There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
