He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
