I bet he comes in French.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
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we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
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I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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