I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
