first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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