Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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