Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
If I had your ass I would rule the world
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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