My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
