You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize