I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
