that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
