I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
