i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Floor bacon is actually really good
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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