do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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