You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize