Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
