I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
