I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize