once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
