are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
