We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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