are you so shy because you have an std?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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